The Wedding Ceremony -'Aroosi'

Wedding ceremonies in Afghanistan usually begin in the evening and ends around 2 am. Sometimes the ceremony may go for as long as the couple desires.

At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, a group of women will stand in a line on the right. Another group of men will stand in a path to the left of the entry to welcome guests. The families of the groom and the bride will lead the guests to their respective tables.

The wedding has two basic parts. The first is the religious ceremony, `Nekah‘, at which the marriage contract, `Nekah khat‘, is signed in the presence of the ‘Mullah‘, a government representative, the groom, witnesses, and the ‘Padar wakil‘ – the bride’s representative chosen by the bride. The bride is supposed to be in green clothes.

Part of the marriage contract includes agreement on the ‘Mahr‘, an amount of money or goods to be paid to the bride. This sum of money is an Islamic tradition and in effect is the money paid to the woman for the use of her procreative powers. Today the amount often reaches thousands of dollars or the equivalent in property. After this ceremony, the bride will remove the green clothes and put on white garments. The groom wears a suit during the wedding ceremony. Nowadays the more liberal families perform the Nikah ceremony on a seperate day.

The second basic part of the wedding, following the ‘Nekah‘, are festivities called either ‘Aroosi‘ or ‘Toi‘. The form these festivities take varies greatly across the country.

In urban areas, the wedding party may be celebrated by the families separately, or more often is held jointly with the bride and the groom’s families. Men and women may be together or they may be in different rooms of the same building or a neighbour’s house if it is a home wedding. The more liberal families have men and women relatives of both families in the same area.

Throughout the evening there is loud music and dancing to entertain the guests, and since marriages are an opportunity for friends and relatives to gather and exchange news and gossip, conversation is the way that most weddings are enjoyed.

The evening meal is served late and following this the bride and groom come into the main party area for the non-religious marriage ceremonies. Until this time the bride has been in another room or house with the women of her family.

When the bride and groom enter, everyone stands out of respect for the newlywed bride and groom. A traditional song called ‘Ahesta Bero‘ is sung, commemorating the arrival of the bride. The song is more like a wedding march, and it plays until the bride and the groom settle at their places. The Quran is usually held upon the heads of the couple as they walk down the aisle. There is a double throne set up for the newlyweds.

Next there is a ceremony called ‘Ayna Mosaf‘, meaning ‘clean mirror.’ A shawl is thrown over the heads of the newlyweds, and a Holy Qur'an is opened in front of them under the shawl. They look into the mirror and, at least theoretically, see one another for the first time.

Henna dye is then put on the palms of the hands of the bride and groom. One theory explaining this custom is that it symbolizes the old Aryan custom of the mingling of the blood of the marriage partners. A cloth is tied around the hand to hold the dye paste in place. The groom may then feed the bride fruit juice and ‘Malida', a sweet crumb mixture.

The bride and groom watch over the guests for the remainder of the party as friends and relatives dance.

At the end of the wedding, often early in the morning, the bride's brother is supposed to tie a green sash. The married couple and their friends and relatives may travel around the city with some musicians.

The trip around the city called ‘Shar gasht‘ ends at the groom’s house, where the young wife begins her married life.

The more traditional wedding usually begins with separate parties in the bride’s and groom’s houses. Toward the end of the evening a delegation of women accompanies the groom to the bride’s house, where the above mentioned ceremonies take place. The bride is then taken to the groom’s house where she is sat on a throne. The women of the family sit around her until late into the night, when finally they leave, and bride and groom retire for the evening.

Some Special Traditions in Afghan Wedding

Ahesta-Bero

While the song 'Ahesta Bero' plays, all guests are expected to stand up until the couple settles at their respective places.

Ayna Mosaf

The couple gets covered with a shawl. They are then given the Quran to read a passage from while under the wrap. In the olden days, this could be the first time for the groom and the bride to see the faces of each other. This is because the marriages were pre-arranged.

Nashtaye

In the morning after the wedding, the bride's family brings her breakfast at the groom's home. The common trend nowadays is to bring lunch and not breakfast. Nashtaye comprises of very delicious cuisines from Afghanistan.

Takhtjami

Takhtjami is usually celebrated one week after the wedding ceremony. The guests greet, give gifts, and wish the couple well in their new life. At this time, the bride becomes a full family member of the groom's family and not just a guest. The bride comes with all the items she needs to start her life in the new home (the endowment). These items may include bed-sheets, clothes, home accessories, etc.

Mehr

When the bride joins the groom's family, she promised some payment (Mehr). The payment can be in the form of possession or money. It is something she'll own legally during her married life.

Attan

At the end of the ceremony, all the wedding ceremony attendees participate in Attan dance. It is the last activity in a wedding ceremony.

All in all, a traditional Afghan wedding is the best you can think of if you are planning for a wedding. All the steps are exiting from the beginning to the end. However, you need to remember that it is the groom's family that pays for all the celebrations except for the Engagement Party (Shirnee Khoori)

URL: https://about-afghanistan.squarespace.com/marriage (Status: 29.11.2022).